Shadow Work for Men’s Health

Hidden beneath the surface of our conscious mind lie unresolved emotional issues, but also untapped strength and resilience. Here’s how men can access their inner power.

All too often, men deal with anger, insecurity, and other strong emotions by keeping them out of sight. Over time, this can negatively impact their relationships and mental health.

This reluctance to connect with their inner world may be because men downplay their symptoms or are reluctant to talk about their feelings. Social “norms” can also contribute.

“Men are put in such a difficult position every day, having to embody the archetype of protector and warrior,” says Danielle Massi, MS, LMFT, and author of Shadow Work: Face Hidden Fears, Heal Trauma, Awaken Your Dream Life (Sterling Ethos, 2022).

“But when men have to ‘hold it down’ for everyone around them—whether it’s at work or with their family—it makes it hard to be soft in a way that gives them strength,” she says.

“Shadow work lets them do that,” she adds. “It’s a really powerful practice.”

Shining a light on darkness

Based on the work of psychologist Carl Jung, “shadow work is any technique that accesses repressed and unconscious memories stored in the mind and body,” says Massi. “[This practice] works to alter those memories by bringing them into the light.”

While shadows are usually depicted as dark, your inner shadows aren’t always negative; you simply may not be aware of them. “You can find good things hidden in there, too,” says Massi, “including repressed memories of strength and resilience.”

The shadow work she uses is based on meditation, working toward shifting the brain into a theta brainwave state, which also occurs when you are lightly sleeping.

In that state, “we’re essentially bypassing a lot of our active thinking,” says Massi. “So we can easily access certain memories through suggestion, by saying something like ‘what is the one thing that is bothering you right now?’”

With shadow work, “you finally get to understand who you are at your core,” Massi points out. “So when you make decisions, move about the world, or react in certain ways, you have all these aha moments of ‘I know why I’m doing that.’”

Both men and women can do shadow work, but Massi finds it particularly helpful for her male clients. “Men have a really hard time knowing themselves—why they do the things they do—because they’re not taught to access that the way young girls and women are,” she says.

Learning to rest in peace

Massi was familiar with shadow work early in her career, but it wasn’t until she was diagnosed with cancer in 2018 that she saw the true value of turning inward.

“I knew what things you were supposed to do in order to heal [from], but I didn’t feel like anything was going deep enough,” she says.

“I also know that cancer doesn’t typically show up out of nowhere, especially for someone as young as I am,” she adds. “So there had to be something else that was fuelling that disease within my body.”

One possible culprit? Stress.

While the link between stress and cancer is not clear, some studies suggest that excess stress may increase the risk of certain types of cancer.

As Massi researched how stress forms and its connection to health, she kept seeing references to shadow work. “After a while, I was like, ‘okay, message received.’”

She started working with a licensed psychotherapist in the United Kingdom who specializes in shadow work. This helped Massi bring her own inner world to the surface, with remarkable changes.

“Everything shifted to where I was more at peace,” she says. “I was also less likely to get thrown out of that peace, even by things that would have been triggers before, like my children screaming or fighting with each other.”

These benefits have remained, even though it has been years since Massi has done active shadow work, herself.

Transforming your relationships

Massi has seen similar results with her male clients. They also report being healthier overall, something Massi noticed during her own journey. Some even found that they lost weight.

One of the biggest shifts for men, though, was how shadow work transformed their relationships, including to themselves. “When you really know yourself and can master your emotions—and not as if you’re trying to put a lid on a box—you’re so different in every other aspect of your life,” says Massi.

“Things become a lot more peaceful,” she says. “When triggers present themselves, you don’t immediately jump into a reaction. You’re more likely to notice it happen, and be able to choose how you want to respond.”

Reflecting on deep thoughts and emotions can benefit men of all ages, but Massi cautions against starting traditional shadow work at too young an age. “The brain is not done forming until your mid-twenties,” says Massi. “Before then, we don’t want to poke around in there too much, because the brain has more maturing to do.”

One option for younger men is what Massi refers to as “shadow work light,” which includes using a shadow work journal, like her The Shadow Seekers Journal.

”With a journal, we’re not getting into the theta brainwave state,” she says. “So we’re not going to see a physiological shift that impacts the emotions or thoughts. But what we do see is self-exploration as a whole.”

Committing to regular self-reflection

For men who are concerned about someone reading their journal, Massi suggests checking for shadow work questions online. She recommends doing some calming breaths before reflecting on those questions, without writing anything down. This won’t get them into the theta brainwave state, but it can settle the mind enough to access deeper thoughts and feelings.

To help with self-discovery, men should set aside some distraction-free time, from as little as a few minutes at a time to spending a weekend in a quiet cabin.

“A new habit doesn’t have to be something you commit to doing every day,” says Massi. “It can be something you … slowly integrate into your life, which can be more sustainable.”